June 2013
I really don’t want to leave Japan…I have less than a month left and I hate it…
҉ seer of 8utts: You're Not Cute. Have More Orgasms. "The 10 Things Women Need to Realize In 2013." (Written by a Man.) →
spider8utts.tumblr.com
So I recently came across this website, Elite Daily. It calls itself “The Voice of Generation-Y.”
The link I stumbled on was to an article titled “The 10 Things Women Need to Realize in 2013.” OK. Let’s check this out…
OH, BOY. What the fuck is this? The first photo attached to the article should have tipped me off, but I was too focused on the name of the author…
That’s right. EDDIE CUFFIN. A dude is about to lecture women on what they should “realize” in 2013. But, not just any dude. It’s says right there in his bio: “THE MOST INTERESTING MAN IN THE OFFICE.”
Let’s take a look at a few of these “things”…
“Ladies, realize that in 2013, you are not cute.”
“Back to to the kitchen women and make me a sandwich.”
Well, shit. Thank you GUY for explaining this stuff to women! I mean, one of the points in this article was about getting men to “eat out your ‘box.’” And all that along with the objectifying pics? What would a girl living in the 1950s…err…2013 do without this article?!
But, don’t worry! Eddie Cuffin has got more for all of you seeking his advice. Gems such as…
“The 21 Signs She’s Expired.”
That’s right, girls. If you are over the age of 19 and 1/2, hang up the boots and please deposit yourself in the closest trash bin.
Misogynistic, transphobic AND he hates Mila Kunis! Eddie Cuffin is a catch!
What a gentleman.
But, don’t worry! Eddie Cuffin won’t leave you hanging now that you know your girlfriend is “expired” like the cold cuts sitting in the back of your fridge…
Eddie Cuffin’s gonna let you know how to cheat on her with “15 Steps to Successfully Cheat on Your Girlfriend!” Eddie says women are like chicken (expired chicken?) and stale bread! The man who wants to empower women in 2013 with cooking lessons and orgasms would also like them to know that their value depreciates over time (because women are nothing but a commodity, duh!). GIRLS, “you’re getting older and not getting any tighter” and by not stopping time you “compel” men to cheat! IT’S YOUR FAULT, LADIES…
“15 Easy Steps to Managing Your Mistress.” Fellas! Your pal Eddie’s got you covered here too! Because it’s 2013 (Eddie’s got a real infatuation for 2013) and as it says right there above…It’s that time in your life, and not just yours, everyman’s life where he ”GROW A SACK AND GET A MISTRESS.”
“Women lie a lot.” You hear that men? Women are EVIL LIARS. Why can’t they just be truthful while you lie and cheat on them?! GIRLS ARE THE WORST.
But, what if you fell for the evil voodoo women and she went ahead on her very own and decided to get pregnant (THE NERVE)? Don’t worry, Eddie Cuffin’s got you covered here too!
“Many poor men.” If only they had Eddie Cuffin’s brilliant mind and knew the “20 East Steps to Raising a Whore” so they could do the exact opposite!
Steps like…
Letting her get involved in fun activities like cheerleading and gymnastics! Only WHORES play sports!
Telling her she can’t date a black man! Because we all know women will go out and do the exact opposite! AND ONLY WHORES DATE BLACK MEN. (Eddie Cuffin: misogynistic, transphobic, and now racist too!)
Put her on birth control at 13! Because we all know girls don’t have sex UNLESS they are on birth control. No birth control, no sex, and there’s like no teen moms in 2013…the Voice of Generation-Y, people!
In case these listicles full of amazing advice weren’t enough for ya, Eddie’s got a Twitter account too! 140 characters of pure wisdom!
Eddie Cuffin of Elite Daily, folks! The Voice of Generation Y (Don’t Girls Like Me, I Am So Alone).
TH IS GU Y„,.. , …………..
At first, I thought, well, maybe this is just really awful, immoral satire. Surely, he can’t be serious.
HE’S SERIOUS.
And he uses his twitter to be snide to the women who call him out for this bullshit block of text.
HE’S A PRETENTIOUS ASSHOLE. FUCK YOU, SIR.
Eddie Cuffin, you are not an authority on the rights of women, and you are no great writer either, Your work for Elite Daily, as a whole,is the most disgusting misuse of a career in journalism I’ve ever seen.
I HATE THIS GUY.
Also I’m glad someone could coherently tear apart this article because when I read it I was too angry to function.
I just want this guy to eat shit.
“
It’s taboo to admit that you’re lonely. You can make jokes about it, of course. You can tell people that you spend most of your time with Netflix or that you haven’t left the house today and you might not even go outside tomorrow. Ha ha, funny. But rarely do you ever tell people about the true depths of your loneliness, about how you feel more and more alienated from your friends each passing day and you’re not sure how to fix it. It seems like everyone is just better at living than you are.
A part of you knew this was going to happen. Growing up, you just had this feeling that you wouldn’t transition well to adult life, that you’d fall right through the cracks. And look at you now. La di da, it’s happening.
Your mother, your father, your grandparents: they all look at you like you’re some prized jewel and they tell you over and over again just how lucky you are to be young and have your whole life ahead of you. “Getting old ain’t for sissies,” your father tells you wearily.
You wish they’d stop saying these things to you because all it does is fill you with guilt and panic. All it does is remind you of how much you’re not taking advantage of your youth.
You want to kiss all kinds of different people, you want to wake up in a stranger’s bed maybe once or twice just to see if it feels good to feel nothing, you want to have a group of friends that feels like a tribe, a bonafide family. You want to go from one place to the next constantly and have your weekends feel like one long epic day. You want to dance to stupid music in your stupid room and have a nice job that doesn’t get in the way of living your life too much. You want to be less scared, less anxious, and more willing. Because if you’re closed off now, you can only imagine what you’ll be like later.
Every day you vow to change some aspect of your life and every day you fail. At this point, you’re starting to question your own power as a human being. As of right now, your fears have you beat. They’re the ones that are holding your twenties hostage.
Stop thinking that everyone is having more sex than you, that everyone has more friends than you, that everyone out is having more fun than you. Not because it’s not true (it might be!) but because that kind of thinking leaves you frozen. You’ve already spent enough time feeling like you’re stuck, like you’re watching your life fall through you like a fast dissolve and you’re unable to hold on to anything.
I don’t know if you ever get better. I don’t know if a person can just wake up one day and decide to be an active participant in their life. I’d like to think so. I’d like to think that people get better each and every day but that’s not really true. People get worse and it’s their stories that end up getting forgotten because we can’t stand an unhappy ending. The sick have to get better. Our normalcy depends upon it.
You have to value yourself. You have to want great things for your life. This sort of shit doesn’t happen overnight but it can and will happen if you want it.
Do you want it bad enough? Does the fear of being filled with regret in your thirties trump your fear of living today?
We shall see.
” —You’re Not Making The Most Of Your 20s by Ryan O’Connell (via coffeeurlgirl)May 2013
Oh whoops, looks like my queue is out. All 300 posts went by so quickly.
I’ll try and update it as I go along, so be patient everyone!
general psa:
freedom of speech means that the government is not allowed to tell you to shut the fuck up. it doesn’t mean that i am not allowed to tell you to shut the fuck up.
“But if you forget to reblog Madame Zeroni, you and your family will be cursed for always and eternity.”
NOPE
NOT RISKING IT
Hahaha, oh Holes.
it is ok friend
i know you aren’t feeling so great right now friend
but just know that you are great
and that i am here for you
and you deserve happiness
and things will get better
i promise you that friend
when you hear someone mention a thing you like
